Monday, September 17, 2012

welcome RUBY!

my niece was born on Saturday.


this is what a doting auntie looks like:

Dear Ruby,
Can't wait to watch you grow!
Aunt Sarah

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

be free

Just though to myself that I wanted to post something really quick and then "be free" popped into my head. I google searched it and found this so fast. Makes me feel happy.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

New Year!

School started again. It is my last fall as an undergrad. Pretty cool! Also, scary and horrifying, but mostly cool. My classes are pretty good. Work schedule is fine I guess. Life is just busy but I still have time to nap every couple days.

Bobcats for Life is back in action for the fall and I must say, I am feeling pretty good. This may be due in part to the fact that I have two girls on board with me this year that have the same scholarship I do, so I know they will be reliable, and there are a few other people who I am really trusting will help out a lot. We had a frozen yogurt get together last week; it was pretty chill and nonchalant and I think some people didn't know they were at a meeting. This week, though, is when we'll find out what the year is going to look like. We doubled the size of our email list already this year. It's great. Let's see how this goes! Hoping with all my heart to hand off the presidency of B4L to Audrey in January. Fingers crossed.

This month will be very busy. With Bobcats For Life getting off the ground again, my sweet niece RUBY being born, my sweet honorary niece (old roommate's daughter) GRACE being born, and Ryan's brother's wedding... it's going to be a happy and busy month.


Wednesday, August 08, 2012

little flower

I love St. Therese of Lisieux. I love this little statue of her in the St. Louis cathedral in New Orleans. These are photos of me with her statue in New Orleans in 2012 and 2010.

“The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily
do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.
If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.
-St. Therese of Lisieux.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

baby shower

my sister's baby shower was last weekend. I can't wait to be an aunt. She'll be here in less than 2 months!

"you seem different"

The title of this post is what someone said to me last week. I ran into a girl I lived in the dorms with my freshman year (three years ago) and we caught up on each others' lives. She said that I seemed different. I said in response, "thank you. I think I am."

The beginning of my pro-life work was a choice for me; it was my own little fiat. However, it felt like a whirlwind. I think that moving away from home for the first time and entering this whole new dimension of college definitely made me cling to anything I could that seemed constant. For me, I knew my pro-life beliefs to be sacred and I hold that truth in my heart now, but at the time, it seemed that being pro-life meant being surrounded by pro-life people and those pro-life people were all pro-guns everywhere, anti-gay people ever experiencing any form of joy, anti-anything Obama ever said... even if he said "I like Mountain Dew" or something as inconsequential as that. I thought to myself, "I am pro-life, do they expect me to be this?" I knew I couldn't be that person and I didn't want to be that person. In a way, it's like I was going on a road trip with conservative people but once I got in the car I just put my iPod in and blasted pro-life things into my ear to tune out those things I disagreed with. Does this make sense?

I am different now. I have experienced what some may call self discovery, others may say that I have been liberalized by an evil public education system. I like to think that I have discovered the heart of compassion and I am trying to take up residence there. The rent is low and the peace is free.

I am different now. Life prescribed me some chill pills and I've learned that whispered truth is more effective than a megaphone. I think some of these changes have been due in part to switching my major to social work. It is ironic, because there is not much outspoken support for pro-life views in my social work classes... aside from some of my own interjections here and there, there really isn't any. Despite the difference of values in that arena, I find so much common ground and common compassion for the good of the human being - aside from the period of conception until birth. I find that these people in my classes share many of my values. These people are veterans, caseworkers, lesbians, gay men, Muslims, atheists, vegans, Christians, mothers, fathers, liberals. I love the diversity and I love the sharing that goes on in the classrooms. I love that they have taught me from their shared experiences. I love that they have, in their own small ways, made me different.

I think back on freshman year and wonder how many people I rubbed the wrong way because I just didn't have myself figured out. Hell, I still don't have myself figured out. I am grateful though for that chance encounter with my old friend. Those words were just what I needed for another bout of introspection.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


"You often say, 'I would give, but only to the deserving.' The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture. They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish. 
-Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

The Prophet is one of my top 5 favorite books. It is up there with The Alchemist, The Broken Wings, maybe Redeeming Love and I don't know what the 5th would be off the top of my head... should give that some thinking. 

Monday, July 09, 2012


Ryan and I spent a week in Michigan. We got back on Thursday. On Friday, we left for his grandparents' house for his brother's wedding shower. We got home Sunday evening and I started work & class at 9:00 this morning. I am so tired, so I don't know why I'm awake at midnight. That's all. Nothing relevant to say. Just some pictures from Michigan.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

crape myrtles

I wrote a really long post, but it was too much and I'm too jumbled to make sense of my thoughts this late, so here's this picture I found on google images from Saldivia-Jones photog (the picture was relevant to the entry I just erased):

Friday, June 22, 2012

ocean floor

This song just popped into my heart and I felt like I should post it.

Gianna Jessen, who survived an abortion, sang this song on the "October Baby" soundtrack.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

ocean & emotion

I saw the ocean for the first time ever last week. It was beautiful.
Key West

Now I'm back and I have a week of "nothing to do" and I am feeling hyper emotional and excessively introspective. I'm also spending way too much time on Pinterest & Etsy, due in part to my sister's upcoming baby shower.

I am just feeling like my own skin doesn't suit me the past few days; feels like I am just not in the right place, like I need to do something about it, but all I can do is try to think - yes, try, because fruitful thoughts are out of my reach in this strange state I find myself in. Just yikes.

Going to Michigan with Ryan next week. Looking forward to it. Will write here again in the next few days- and will actually have relevant pro-lifery to write about, I hope.

Thursday, June 07, 2012

training memories 2012

baby girl

dominika! beauty inside & out.
my favorite friend to prematurely plan weddings with.

pro-life Bobcats. 2 alum, 1 senior, 1 sophomore.
2 incoming freshmen, and 1 Fr. Brian.
doing some yard work at a maternity home

angelonia, pentas, purslane (nbd)

this has nothing to do with training, but look
how handsome my boyfriend is.

bursts of self knowledge

I feel like I have made some significant progress in learning about myself lately, namely through my time in Houston. It is through learning who I am not that I am discovering who I am. I've addressed the whole "who I am" thing in regards to negative Pro-Lifer stereotypes, but within the Pro-Life community I am discovering my role and my skills and my values.

Role: I don't feel like I am meant to ever dedicate my career to full time Pro-Life work in a Pro-Life organization, but of course I will "be" Pro-Life in whatever I end up doing (I mean, duh). Right now, I think my role is to lead Bobcats for Life for another semester, or maybe 2. I really feel like I need to pass that role off to someone else... fast.

Skills: I don't think I have skills that are compatible for a 9-5 staring-at-a-computer-screen job. As a, God willing, future social worker, I need people and interaction to get through the day. I think I could work on a macro level for some time, but I don't think that would be the best fit for me... at least for the near future. The things that are fun for me are writing, talking, taking pictures, Tweeting, using social media, planning (turtle races, anyone?), talking to moms, playing with babies, and anything right brained, really.
right click for link to source. Love this picture.
Values: Everyday, a new comment or thought or piece of hate reminds me that I am, by no means, a republican. I don't know if I'm a democrat or whatever. I know that I am pro-life. I know that when I see a homeless person sitting outside McDonald's, I want to buy them food and I don't want them to pay me back- even if they are an alcoholic or a drug addict; there is no means test to get a Big Mac from Sarah Ryan. I know that when a family in Mexico feels scared because their neighborhood is overrun by drug cartel and they want to come to America, I want them here and I hope they are my neighbor. I know that when a friend of mine had a terrible health crisis and I took her to the hospital, the fact that she was uninsured was the last obstacle she needed to face at that time and it broke my heart to think that she may have to suffer because of the uninsured family situation she was born into. I don't say "blacks" when I talk about African Americans. If you say something or someone is "retarded," I will call you out on your ignorance; if I thought you were ignorant before the comment, I will call you out and also potentially humiliate you (sorry I'm not sorry! and this method of calling out/humiliation also applies to the *cussword* who, after OKC beat the Spurs, said "I hope OKC gets bombed again." You're an embarrassment to humans.). I believe in social justice, so call me a "communist" or "marxist" if you want (or if you are cray cray), but I don't really care, because at the end of the day- being a decent and kind communist would be better than being a heartless, racist conservative- as seen here.

It's funny to watch myself evolve, or rather, to unlock parts of my heart or conscience that I wasn't aware of before, or maybe I just wasn't aware of the depth of that part of my heart. That is the experience I've had with my empathy for the homeless; I always knew I cared like any not crappy human would, but I'm realizing how special that population is to me. Don't know why though.

Well, that's enough reflection, or rather introspection, for the day!

Monday, May 14, 2012


Haven't blogged in a while. I'm now officially a senior in college! I had a great semester with some great professors (and one drone in a teacher costume).

I just arrived in Houston where I will be interning at Texas Right to Life. I've never worked in an office setting before and I really like the staff, so I'm ready to start working tomorrow!

Already missing Ryan a little bit, and it has only been 10 hours. Ha ha ha ha. I've seen him every single day for the whole semester basically, so I'm thinking the next 4 weeks are going to be interesting and filled with lots of Skype calls.

I'll be blogging a bit during my stay in Houston. TTFN!

just me & this guy I love, taken by our friend at J Bacak photography

Saturday, April 21, 2012

earth day

although I believe human rights should be a higher priority than the rights of a tree, I acknowledge that the earth is a gift from God and is to be respected as such... and I love nature. Just went through my "spring 2010" album of pictures and realized I got to spend a lot of time outside. These are some pictures (many CLEARLY edited, but whatever) that show why I love nature.

Friday, April 20, 2012

i am happy

It is 11:30 on a Friday morning.
I just did 2 homework assignments.
Ryan is currently doing his first (of a million) med school related interviews.
I have pink roses on my desk from our anniversary.
It is a beautiful day.
I am about to go to Austin.
I am happy.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

timeline of love

as a beautiful series of events has just come to a close, I felt an entry was needed to document how amazing God is and how crazy perfect His plans are. It all started with an angry pro-choice poster and it ended with 500 people applauding a brave woman.

- discovered a poster on campus promoting a protest outside of an Austin PRC's fundraising dinner. (as seen at right... I found the flyer on Facebook later)
- Sarah G called the PRC and warned them.
- the PRC director, Lori, was grateful for the heads up (the protest ended up being a flop).

- Lori came all the way to San Marcos to our next meeting and shared stories.
- we asked if we might adopt a family of one of her clients for Christmas.

- we were matched with Margaret's family.
- we all donated toys, clothes, diapers for the baby twins and 3 year old.
- as a group, we wrapped and decorated all of the gifts
- about 12 of us drove to Austin to deliver the gifts to Margaret at the PRC
- we met one of the most grateful women ever. Margaret shared her life story with us.
- the idea of throwing a 1st birthday party for Margaret's twins was thrown out there.
- Margaret's kids had an amazing (<-link to more pictures) Christmas.

- planning stage for the twins' birthday party.
- keeping in touch with Margaret.

- 4 of us drove to Austin to have a birthday party (<- link to more pictures) for Lolo & Margarita.
- we had an awesome time.
- 3 year old Rosa loved the bubbles we brought her.
- Lolo loved the cupcakes.
- the following week, I sent Margaret an application for a scholarship I found online for a mother who had chosen life for her children.
- over spring break, we emailed daily getting all of her application requirements taken care of.
- in less than a week, Margaret had everything turned in.

- after a very rough week, Margaret received some beautiful news.
- she received notification that she won the scholarship!
- Margaret & family attended a beautiful gala to receive the scholarship.
- after reading her application essay to the 500 people present, Margaret received a standing ovation. (I wish I had a picture)
- oh yeah, and Ryan & I got to babysit the babies during the gala (so fun).

This whole journey has been so beautiful. It has been such a blessing to be with Margaret through this. I haven't happy cried so much in my life as I have as a result of spontaneous blessings she received during the past 4 months. Granted, there were downs too... but the ups, oh the ups were so incredible.

It all started with an angry pro-choice poster hanging up on a bulletin board in the philosophy building that I passed by while delivering mail. The Lord works in mysterious (and super weird) ways.

These little faces are just too great.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

i am so happy

i have written before about margaret. i am in a hurry to cook with my main squeeze so i can't get into too many details now, but so much has happened in the past week... and never before have i seen beauty come from ashes so quickly. i will write more about it later. i was brought to happy tears in public last night over this.

i am amazed at how, in times of another's suffering, one can become wise. i found myself speaking words that were not my own many times this past week. i am so grateful for the way the spirit can flow through so quietly and gently that it is almost undetectable.

talking to margaret yesterday, providentially Good Friday, i heard myself guiding her but i was really teaching myself. she has gone through so much this week- so much - and the Spirit taught me this through my words to her:

you are suffering, my child, at a time when I suffered under the weight of the Cross. do not fear, for as I died for you I overcame the world. I died and rose again, so shall you suffer and rise from the ashes of your broken heart. 

never really felt so urged to share something like that with someone, but it was nice.

i'll write later about the incredibly beautiful wonderful great awesome thing that i am just thinking and thinking and praising God about.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

last statements

Somehow I just ended up on the Texas Department of Criminal Justice database that has all of the last statements of prisoners the state has executed. Wow. This is an infographic from GOOD that shows the most common words used in last statements:

This one was particularly interesting to me. These are the last words of a convicted rapist and murderer, Johnny Johnson:
The Polunsky dungeon should be compared with the Death Row Community as existing not living. Why do I say this, the Death Row is full of isolated hearts and suppressed minds. We are filled with love looking for affection and a way to understand. I am a Death Row resident of the Polunsky dungeon. Why does my heart ache. We want pleasure love and satisfaction. It. The walls of darkness crushed in on me. Life without meaning is life without purpose. But the solace within the Polunsky dungeon, the unforgivesness within society, the church Pastors and Christians. It is terrifying. Does anyone care or who I am. Can you feel me people. The Polunsky dungeon is what I call the pit of hopelessness. The terrfying thing is the US is the only place, country that is the only civilized country that is free that says it will stop murder and enable justice. I ask each of you to lift up your voices to demand an end to the Death Penalty. If we live, we live to the Lord. If we die we die to the Lord. Christ rose again, in Jesus name. Bye Aunt Helen, Luise, Joanna and to all the rest of yall. You may proceed Warden. (began singing)
WHEN WILL THE WORLD UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL HEALTH? This man had a history of sexual assault and assault with a deadly weapon, but somehow releasing him into the real world without therapy and ongoing treatment was a good idea? No. Sentencing without treatment is only perpetuating crime.

I'm not making any claims to minimize the crimes committed by prisoners on death row, but it is not the state's place to kill in the name of justice. Just disgusting.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

emily adams

I forgot to post these pictures. I know that pro-life people are stereotypically just crazy baby lovers, and I hate to fulfill a stereotype.... but babies are great and I happen to have met Emily Adams this past week and I LOVE taking pictures of babies. Maybe it's because they can't talk so they can't get all mad and be like "ew, delete! I look like a whale!" I first met her when she was just a tiny wee little one in her mama's belly (my friend Ashley!), but now I got to HOLD her and take photos of her. Not going to get into sappy thoughts about how awesome it is that human beings can like give life to another human, literally they just grow inside them, like I'm sorry but COOL. Anyways, she's kind of cute. I mean... REALLY CUTE.

Before (in December):

After! Emily at 5 weeks old:


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