Saturday, June 23, 2012

crape myrtles

I wrote a really long post, but it was too much and I'm too jumbled to make sense of my thoughts this late, so here's this picture I found on google images from Saldivia-Jones photog (the picture was relevant to the entry I just erased):

Friday, June 22, 2012

ocean floor

This song just popped into my heart and I felt like I should post it.

Gianna Jessen, who survived an abortion, sang this song on the "October Baby" soundtrack.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

ocean & emotion

I saw the ocean for the first time ever last week. It was beautiful.
Key West

Now I'm back and I have a week of "nothing to do" and I am feeling hyper emotional and excessively introspective. I'm also spending way too much time on Pinterest & Etsy, due in part to my sister's upcoming baby shower.

I am just feeling like my own skin doesn't suit me the past few days; feels like I am just not in the right place, like I need to do something about it, but all I can do is try to think - yes, try, because fruitful thoughts are out of my reach in this strange state I find myself in. Just yikes.

Going to Michigan with Ryan next week. Looking forward to it. Will write here again in the next few days- and will actually have relevant pro-lifery to write about, I hope.

Thursday, June 07, 2012

training memories 2012

baby girl

dominika! beauty inside & out.
my favorite friend to prematurely plan weddings with.

pro-life Bobcats. 2 alum, 1 senior, 1 sophomore.
2 incoming freshmen, and 1 Fr. Brian.
doing some yard work at a maternity home

angelonia, pentas, purslane (nbd)

this has nothing to do with training, but look
how handsome my boyfriend is.

bursts of self knowledge

I feel like I have made some significant progress in learning about myself lately, namely through my time in Houston. It is through learning who I am not that I am discovering who I am. I've addressed the whole "who I am" thing in regards to negative Pro-Lifer stereotypes, but within the Pro-Life community I am discovering my role and my skills and my values.

Role: I don't feel like I am meant to ever dedicate my career to full time Pro-Life work in a Pro-Life organization, but of course I will "be" Pro-Life in whatever I end up doing (I mean, duh). Right now, I think my role is to lead Bobcats for Life for another semester, or maybe 2. I really feel like I need to pass that role off to someone else... fast.

Skills: I don't think I have skills that are compatible for a 9-5 staring-at-a-computer-screen job. As a, God willing, future social worker, I need people and interaction to get through the day. I think I could work on a macro level for some time, but I don't think that would be the best fit for me... at least for the near future. The things that are fun for me are writing, talking, taking pictures, Tweeting, using social media, planning (turtle races, anyone?), talking to moms, playing with babies, and anything right brained, really.
right click for link to source. Love this picture.
Values: Everyday, a new comment or thought or piece of hate reminds me that I am, by no means, a republican. I don't know if I'm a democrat or whatever. I know that I am pro-life. I know that when I see a homeless person sitting outside McDonald's, I want to buy them food and I don't want them to pay me back- even if they are an alcoholic or a drug addict; there is no means test to get a Big Mac from Sarah Ryan. I know that when a family in Mexico feels scared because their neighborhood is overrun by drug cartel and they want to come to America, I want them here and I hope they are my neighbor. I know that when a friend of mine had a terrible health crisis and I took her to the hospital, the fact that she was uninsured was the last obstacle she needed to face at that time and it broke my heart to think that she may have to suffer because of the uninsured family situation she was born into. I don't say "blacks" when I talk about African Americans. If you say something or someone is "retarded," I will call you out on your ignorance; if I thought you were ignorant before the comment, I will call you out and also potentially humiliate you (sorry I'm not sorry! and this method of calling out/humiliation also applies to the *cussword* who, after OKC beat the Spurs, said "I hope OKC gets bombed again." You're an embarrassment to humans.). I believe in social justice, so call me a "communist" or "marxist" if you want (or if you are cray cray), but I don't really care, because at the end of the day- being a decent and kind communist would be better than being a heartless, racist conservative- as seen here.

It's funny to watch myself evolve, or rather, to unlock parts of my heart or conscience that I wasn't aware of before, or maybe I just wasn't aware of the depth of that part of my heart. That is the experience I've had with my empathy for the homeless; I always knew I cared like any not crappy human would, but I'm realizing how special that population is to me. Don't know why though.

Well, that's enough reflection, or rather introspection, for the day!


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