Tuesday, December 07, 2010

an end, a beginning

I had attempted to update everyday during 40 Days for Life but after a long retreat weekend and a post-retreat-recovery period (a.k.a. messed up sleep schedule) my blog consistency failed. I'm planning to start updating periodically rather than daily because a lot has happened in the past few weeks!

Currently, I feel I'm in a tiny slump... however, if I had updated about 3 weeks ago I would've written about getting to meet the beautiful baby boy whose mother chose life this past year :). I wrote about him in an earlier entry but I hadn't met him since he'd been born and he is absolutely perfect. I held him while he slept and when he woke up and just looked around and he grabbed my finger with his tiny fingers and it was so amazing. Those little moments are just messages from God saying this is what it's all about- Life! I wrote my new friend a song and I hope to play it for him and his mother one day soon.

As for my slump...I feel overwhelmed. Today was our final club meeting and I had a breakdown and cried and told everyone how I'd been let down by the group this semester. Granted, there were some beautiful moments and wonderful progress was made in some respects, but not enough (not like there can ever be enough though). They all understood and agreed and I am confident that next semester will be even more fruitful than this semester. I was to passive this semester and let people flake out on me and I'm not going to do that anymore. Trying to be loving and encouraging turned into having to assume responsibilities that others abandoned. That is not fun and is GPA damaging.

So this is the end of our semester- which honestly wasn't horrible, it's just that it's hard to feel satisfied sometimes, and the beginning of planning for next semester.

We had a scheduled Sidewalk Counselor Training that I was so stoked for but it got rescheduled, so once we knock that out next semester we'll be in business. I actually got trained when I was 16 but I don't feel like I'm prepared still... retention from the training, eh, not so great. I can't wait though. I really feel ready for it.

Yeah so I have a huge semester-long project that is due, eh, right about an hour ago but this just goes to show my priorities.... which have to change. Next semester=4.0 bound, but it's SO hard when there's so much I want to do with all this and so much planning and meetings and praying and on and on...

Dear God, help me to find the balance between my passion for the defense of the Unborn and my studies.



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