Wednesday, November 16, 2011

can't commit to quit

another thing I have failed to bring to fruition: this "break."

only because I think I have solved my problem: I need my guitar back, I need some thinking/processing time, I need to turn off my phone every once and a while.

in my "song journal"
sanity restored (momentarily)

I have a lot of homework right now... I mean, a lot, so that means I get situated in front of my computer to be productive... and then somehow I end up playing guitar. I don't play much this year, and I think I should start doing it more (at more logical times though).

Last year I played all the times, and more therapeutic than that was writing songs, getting my feelings and thoughts and stupid infatuations clogging my consciousness out onto paper and out of my mouth & heart into song. It sounds so cheesy and cliche and maybe that ought to be a quote on an emo 15 year old's Tumblr account or something, but I attribute a lot of the growth I did last year to the writing and singing that I did alone in my room. Or alone in my room with my amazing roommate/favorite critic to be vulnerable in front of (she never gave negative feedback, love her. ha ha ha ha). I haven't done that in a long time. Once I get alllll this stuff on my to-do list taken care of, I'm going to write & sing again... on a day when I don't have a test the next day (TODAY).

I'm embarrassed about my irresponsibility lately, but I'm getting really good grades this semester. It's sad how I'm still getting my Fall-2001 life balanced and it's almost over. I feel most ashamed of my poor performance with my HLI writing. That's almost always the thing that pops into my mind when I have all my immediate tasks conquered and I am about to fall asleep thinking I am done with everything. I need to get my act together.



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