bursts of self knowledge

I feel like I have made some significant progress in learning about myself lately, namely through my time in Houston. It is through learning who I am not that I am discovering who I am. I've addressed the whole "who I am" thing in regards to negative Pro-Lifer stereotypes, but within the Pro-Life community I am discovering my role and my skills and my values.

Role: I don't feel like I am meant to ever dedicate my career to full time Pro-Life work in a Pro-Life organization, but of course I will "be" Pro-Life in whatever I end up doing (I mean, duh). Right now, I think my role is to lead Bobcats for Life for another semester, or maybe 2. I really feel like I need to pass that role off to someone else... fast.

Skills: I don't think I have skills that are compatible for a 9-5 staring-at-a-computer-screen job. As a, God willing, future social worker, I need people and interaction to get through the day. I think I could work on a macro level for some time, but I don't think that would be the best fit for me... at least for the near future. The things that are fun for me are writing, talking, taking pictures, Tweeting, using social media, planning (turtle races, anyone?), talking to moms, playing with babies, and anything right brained, really.

right click for link to source. Love this picture.

Values: Everyday, a new comment or thought or piece of hate reminds me that I am, by no means, a republican. I don't know if I'm a democrat or whatever. I know that I am pro-life. I know that when I see a homeless person sitting outside McDonald's, I want to buy them food and I don't want them to pay me back- even if they are an alcoholic or a drug addict; there is no means test to get a Big Mac from Sarah Ryan. I know that when a family in Mexico feels scared because their neighborhood is overrun by drug cartel and they want to come to America, I want them here and I hope they are my neighbor. I know that when a friend of mine had a terrible health crisis and I took her to the hospital, the fact that she was uninsured was the last obstacle she needed to face at that time and it broke my heart to think that she may have to suffer because of the uninsured family situation she was born into. I don't say "blacks" when I talk about African Americans. If you say something or someone is "retarded," I will call you out on your ignorance; if I thought you were ignorant before the comment, I will call you out and also potentially humiliate you (sorry I'm not sorry! and this method of calling out/humiliation also applies to the *cussword* who, after OKC beat the Spurs, said "I hope OKC gets bombed again." You're an embarrassment to humans.). I believe in social justice, so call me a "communist" or "marxist" if you want (or if you are cray cray), but I don't really care, because at the end of the day- being a decent and kind communist would be better than being a heartless, racist conservative- as seen here.

It's funny to watch myself evolve, or rather, to unlock parts of my heart or conscience that I wasn't aware of before, or maybe I just wasn't aware of the depth of that part of my heart. That is the experience I've had with my empathy for the homeless; I always knew I cared like any not crappy human would, but I'm realizing how special that population is to me. Don't know why though.

Well, that's enough reflection, or rather introspection, for the day!

back!

Haven't blogged in a while. I'm now officially a senior in college! I had a great semester with some great professors (and one drone in a teacher costume).

I just arrived in Houston where I will be interning at Texas Right to Life. I've never worked in an office setting before and I really like the staff, so I'm ready to start working tomorrow!

Already missing Ryan a little bit, and it has only been 10 hours. Ha ha ha ha. I've seen him every single day for the whole semester basically, so I'm thinking the next 4 weeks are going to be interesting and filled with lots of Skype calls.

I'll be blogging a bit during my stay in Houston. TTFN!

just me & this guy I love, taken by our friend at J Bacak photography

earth day

although I believe human rights should be a higher priority than the rights of a tree, I acknowledge that the earth is a gift from God and is to be respected as such... and I love nature. Just went through my "spring 2010" album of pictures and realized I got to spend a lot of time outside. These are some pictures (many CLEARLY edited, but whatever) that show why I love nature.

i am happy

It is 11:30 on a Friday morning.
I just did 2 homework assignments.
Ryan is currently doing his first (of a million) med school related interviews.
I have pink roses on my desk from our anniversary.
It is a beautiful day.
I am about to go to Austin.
I am happy.

AND IN A WEEK I WILL KNOW IF I HAVE A
NIECE OR A NEPHEW!!! :)

timeline of love

as a beautiful series of events has just come to a close, I felt an entry was needed to document how amazing God is and how crazy perfect His plans are. It all started with an angry pro-choice poster and it ended with 500 people applauding a brave woman.

September
- discovered a poster on campus promoting a protest outside of an Austin PRC's fundraising dinner. (as seen at right... I found the flyer on Facebook later)
- Sarah G called the PRC and warned them.
- the PRC director, Lori, was grateful for the heads up (the protest ended up being a flop).

October
- Lori came all the way to San Marcos to our next meeting and shared stories.
- we asked if we might adopt a family of one of her clients for Christmas.

December
- we were matched with Margaret's family.
- we all donated toys, clothes, diapers for the baby twins and 3 year old.
- as a group, we wrapped and decorated all of the gifts
- about 12 of us drove to Austin to deliver the gifts to Margaret at the PRC
- we met one of the most grateful women ever. Margaret shared her life story with us.
- the idea of throwing a 1st birthday party for Margaret's twins was thrown out there.
- Margaret's kids had an amazing (<-link to more pictures) Christmas.

February
- planning stage for the twins' birthday party.
- keeping in touch with Margaret.

March
- 4 of us drove to Austin to have a birthday party (<- link to more pictures) for Lolo & Margarita.
- we had an awesome time.
- 3 year old Rosa loved the bubbles we brought her.
- Lolo loved the cupcakes.
- the following week, I sent Margaret an application for a scholarship I found online for a mother who had chosen life for her children.
- over spring break, we emailed daily getting all of her application requirements taken care of.
- in less than a week, Margaret had everything turned in.



April
- after a very rough week, Margaret received some beautiful news.
- she received notification that she won the scholarship!
- Margaret & family attended a beautiful gala to receive the scholarship.
- after reading her application essay to the 500 people present, Margaret received a standing ovation. (I wish I had a picture)
- oh yeah, and Ryan & I got to babysit the babies during the gala (so fun).


This whole journey has been so beautiful. It has been such a blessing to be with Margaret through this. I haven't happy cried so much in my life as I have as a result of spontaneous blessings she received during the past 4 months. Granted, there were downs too... but the ups, oh the ups were so incredible.

It all started with an angry pro-choice poster hanging up on a bulletin board in the philosophy building that I passed by while delivering mail. The Lord works in mysterious (and super weird) ways.




These little faces are just too great.