March For Life happiness

We went to the March For Life last week, as mentioned in my previous post, and had a great time. When I say "we" I mean Bobcats For Life. However, I think the part of the weekend that was most special for me was just getting to share it with Ryan. I mean, he is a part of Bobcats For Life, but having him there as my boyfriend and my best friend, not just as a member of the organization, was special to me. He visited me in DC when I was there for the NRL Academy so it was nice to be back there together again.

Ryan is so special to me. When we arrived on Thursday night, we were both experiencing some pretty bad ear discomfort. I felt pretty stressed out and now in pain from ear issues and I kind of just wanted to go to bed and wake up again feeling great. Unfortunately, the night continued to be stressful with the 8 of us trying to find food in the cold at 11 p.m. and my hearing slowly fading away. Once we all got back to the hotel after dinner, I just couldn't handle the pain in my ears. It was just so terrible; it wasn't the normal airplane ear discomfort. Ryan stayed by my side throughout my whole ordeal. He went with me down to the lobby so I could cry without worrying about waking up anyone in the room. He searched on Google for cures (which, by the way, are bullshit. Yawning? nope. Gum chewing? tried it. Plugging your nose and blowing? don't want permanent ear drum damage.) and sat there with me as I cried and cried and used up a box of tissues from my tears and runny nose. He called his mom for motherly advice at 2 a.m. when my mom didn't answer (she did later, to her credit.). He searched online for a 24 hour clinic, but to no avail. He talked me through it all. Honestly, he handled himself like a social worker would. I recognized in him some listening and reflecting skills that I'd read about in my textbook that day. At the end of the night, after lots of phone calls to my insurance company's 24 hour nurse hotline and to our moms and a can of ginger ale, I ended up taking melatonin & ibuprofen and falling asleep on some hot hands. I woke up the next morning feeling so much better. I was so grateful for the care that Ryan provided me, despite how tired he was from such a long and exhausting day of travel and his own ear discomfort. How lucky am I.

The next morning was the Holocaust museum and the Rally. Before the rally, Ryan went with me to visit National Right to Life's office. I hadn't been back since the Academy and, even though I don't really have a relationship with anyone that was there that day, it just felt nice to go back into that building where I spent such a wonderful summer. This is where I got to be reunited with one of my Academy sisters- Erin (pictured above)! It was one of those dramatic "see each other from afar and run up" hugs. It felt so wonderful to see one of the girls in person after 1.5 years of staying so close through our online thread. I really feel so close to these wonderful women, even if we are all across the country doing so many different things. It is so great to be a part of a group of women and be the least lovely. I don't know if that makes sense, but these ladies are all just so much better than me, in that they all just make me want to go do good and be patient and respond to crises with prayer and not with angry emails. They have provided me with so much kind and thoughtful counsel since we met and I am just so lucky to have them to lift me up from this bitter & impatient place I feel like I have fallen into. How lucky I am to be the worst of us and to be able to benefit from so much grace that they share with me.

The Rally was great. It was so much better than the rally in 2011. Seriously. I was really actually inspired by some of the speakers, namely (and surprisingly) Senator Santorum. I didn't think he would really go the emotional route; I thought it would be more of a political speech than a personal testimony. It was really nice.  The thing that everyone from our group mentioned feeling inspired by was just the sense of being surrounded by so many people with a similar passion for protecting life. Sometimes I feel so exhausted, almost like swimming upstream, fighting this battle... but in this whole crowd, it's like you're just swept away by all the supporters. It's nice to just go with the flow; it feels safe in a way to just be able to let your guard down and not worry about having to fight for a little bit. I didn't see a single protester. I did hear some cray guy protesting the Cardinal that spoke.... but that was a really inappropriate time for that little outburst. Sad part of the March was that the whole reason we flew out to DC from Texas was to March for Life... and only 3 out of 8 of us actually finished the March. Everyone got too cold (and I don't blame em! I couldn't have lasted much longer.) and ended up going indoors to museums. I think 2 more might have finished the March after warming up. It was just a bummer we couldn't all march together. Oh well! Got to run into a friend who is now with the Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist while on the march! It was a beautiful surprise. So lovely to see her looking so happy.

The rest of the weekend was great. Ryan and I did a lot of fun things together during free time. We got to meet up with a friend of mine who just graduated from Baylor and had moved to the city 4 days prior. It was so much fun meeting her & her roommate; we had a wonderful time! It was beautiful to see snow on the ground, an old friend's face, and Ryan in his winter hat. So many wonderful sights to see - and I don't even mean the monuments or museums. The bouncer at the bar we went to was playing Angry Birds so we talked about that for a while (just wanted to remember this hilarious moment in years to come). We also went to a bar we had found on Yelp a few weeks back and were so excited to see that the drinks were as awesome as the reviews suggested (Stan's Restaurant, folks!).
The next day, Ryan and I went to the Students for Life of America conference. I felt a little old for it, to be honest. After spending so much time in this movement as a college student, it just felt like stuff I had already heard a hundred times and also stuff I didn't think was relevant. Had a social worker conscience twinge when some guy - who I obviously didn't enjoy because I don't even remember his name - went on some rant about how the "COEXIST" bumper stickers are evil. Well, I'll rant about how wrong he is another day, but I wasn't going to sit there and have my soul cry from listening to such ignorance so Ryan and I went to check out the booths and I got to meet some sweet ladies from Feminists for Life. I think that was the highlight of the conference for me. We didn't stay the whole time. I do think it is a good experience for high schoolers and college students that are new to the movement and want to be in the pro-life movement with a very religious emphasis. I, however, am not about that. Another post on that someday. lolz. I appreciated the opportunity to attend though. It was inspiring to see so many teens gathered in one room for life.

That night, we went to the Basilica for Mass. Only bummer is that by the time we got there, the place was packed & standing room only.... and it was HOT. I felt really faint and couldn't stay in the main church area with all that heat, so I went downstairs to my favorite spot in the whole place. The chapel of Our Lady of Brezje. Something about this place has drawn me in since the first time I was there in January 2011. I ended up praying there after traveling 1,500 miles from San Marcos to D.C. only to run into the person who hurt me more than I'd ever been hurt before and had not seen in 6 months. What were the odds of that? I'd say close to slim. But after that chance/freak encounter I remember feeling so shaky and uneasy. Gosh, when I saw this person I honestly felt like I was in a bad dream. I immediately whispered to Reese, "he's here" and she knew exactly what I meant. I ended up speaking to this person - civilly, as considering unposted circumstances, there wouldn't have been a way for me to speak to him uncivilly - and walking away. That was the last time I saw him. Shaken from an unexpected trip to a dark time from the previous summer, I went wandering around the lower church to look at the chapels. There were hundreds of people down there for overflow seating from the upper church. People were in almost every chapel, praying or looking or taking pictures, but this one was empty... and it has always been empty everytime I have been there. I remember kneeling there and crying and feeling comfort in the fact that I had no one around to ask if I'm okay or try to talk to me. I remember just wanting to cry. The wall on the right had a quote engraved in it that may have been chiseled in the marble just for me in that moment:

and I kind of understood that the whole experience maybe just needed to happen. God needed me stuck in overflow seating and needed that person to be across the country in the lower church wearing that ensemble standing with that group of his colleagues - to prevent an uncivil discourse or tears on my part, perhaps - for me to have some kind of closure? I don't know. I just know that I cried in this chapel and I love this quote and that was probably the last day he really had much of a hold over me in a destructive way.
It felt really therapeutic to be back in this chapel almost exactly 2 years later knowing that I am free from the fear and insecurity caused by that person. It was wonderful to know that upstairs at Mass was my Ryan, a man who respects me and loves me and would never treat me the way I'd been treated by this person. I don't think I usually get this person on this blog- oops! I don't think I've written very explicitly about this person and I think this will be the only time I delve into that, but it is over and I am loved and I am respected and I am happy. I love that chapel and the chance to kneel there and pray. I haven't been praying enough lately; it is a problem. This is the prayer of Our Lady of Brezje:

Mary, Help of Christians,you show us how to be Christian,how to "hear the word of God and keep it" (Luke 11:28).Help us to respond to God as you did,that His power work in us,that the Spirit form Christ in us,and that His mind, His heart, His will be ours.We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.

After Mass, 4 of us went to Chinatown for dinner. I loved the food I had at Ming's! Ryan and I were both surprised by how much I enjoyed it, haha. After Ming's was one of the coolest parts of the night - meeting Ruthie (author of The Itchy Scapular)! I had never met Ruthie in real life before. We met through a very strange series of occurences that I think goes from Youtube to Blogger to Youtube to Blogger to Youtube to Facebook, or some combination of that. Luckily, I wasn't catfished! Ryan and I had so much fun meeting Ruthie and hanging out with some of her hilarious army friends at a very TEXAN bar called Hill Country. It was just so great to meet someone whose blog I've read and whose statuses I have liked. Ruthie is just lovely and hope we can meet up again!

 Had to get a traditional pic with the beautiful Mother Teresa statue at the Basilica. I swear I have a third one from another visit floating around my computer somewhere.

Overall, I just have to say that it was a lovely time. I've made this comment before but it's the only way I can think to describe- I lost my voice and can barely hear out of either ear, but doing what I love with the one I love was beautiful & unforgettable.


Oh, p.s. turns out I have a double ear infection & I'm on antibiotics. the end.

March For Life: Frustrations & Trip Planning Tips

On Thursday, 8 of our Bobcats For Life group headed out to DC for the March For Life. It all went well, but in retrospect there are a few things I would've done differently. DON'T GET ME WRONG, the trip was great. There were a few times I was frustrated... and these are ways that frustration could have been avoided:

 

Trip planning tip #1: Plan early, so you don't have 8 people on 5 different itineraries out of 2 different cities. The earlier you plan, the cheaper tickets are and the more likely you are to be able to find all your tickets on the same flight. Ryan and I flew together which was nice, but also had to provide a ride for 2 others who were flying out 5 hours before us, so our day started at 7:30 a.m. for our 2:00 flight...which proved to be exhausting at the day's end. 

Trip planning tip #2: Tell the group they have to bring cash- not just $20 bills, but $5s and $1s would be preferred. Just to be kind to the waiters at restaurants, do this. Also, when 2 of our group members wanted to split a cupcake that cost $3.95 plus tax, THE WORLD ALMOST ENDED. They each had a $20 bill and the total was like $4.27 so they wanted the guy working at the cupcake shop to do the math and split it, then take both of their $20 bills, then give them the change for the $40.... basically it was hell. I offered to just pay for the damn thing, but eventually - after an embarrassingly long and loud process that left the man working the register shaking his head - it got sorted out. I never carry cash with me when I'm at home, which I should, but definitely tell your group members to bring cash in small denominations to pay for food at restaurants when they won't split the check AND for times when they want to be petty and worry about who is paying $0.01 more when splitting a cupcake.

Also, make sure members realize that - if their trip was fully or partially funded by the organization or donations - they kind of don't have the right to complain about having to spend a few extra dollars at a restaurant on a meal. Believe me, I'm not saying "if people can't afford the food, they did something wrong!" but we went to affordable restaurants and fast food places the whole weekend and it bothered me so much to hear one person complain about how a meal was $12-ish when Bobcats for Life covered the member's entire plane ticket of almost $400. 

Trip planning tip #3: It's better to plan in excess and then decide to play things by ear, than to play things by ear and then have chaos. I planned our schedule for the trip and provided it to our members before leaving, but still... things could have been smoother. The biggest issue we had with this was meals. "Where do y'all want to eat?" or "What kind of food do y'all want?" never get anywhere. I planned a few meals and locations ahead of time, but when it was 11:00 p.m. and everyone was tired from flying and very hungry, it was difficult. I wish I had found a restaurant earlier so we wouldn't have had to waste so much time locating one on Yelp.

Trip planning tip #4: Mention manners ahead of time. This mostly means to say something along the lines of "Don't have your cell phone out at dinner unless you need it to be out." This translates to: "Dinner is not the time for meaningless scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. Aside from the fact that this should be common sense, leading a group of eight 18-21 year olds through this trip taught me that common sense is not all that common. At one restaurant, 6 members had phones out at once. It was just flat out embarrassing. The group should be representing the organization in a professional manner, not looking like a bunch of 8th graders at the mall. 

Trip planning tip #5: You can never be too explicit with expectations. I am NOT saying to make a bunch of rules and be all naggy about that. We had like 4 rules- 1) keep your phone on and charged all weekend. 2) always have at least one person from the group with you. 3) if you go out after 9:00 p.m., just let someone know where you & your buddy are headed. 4) text me before you depart/after you land. However, when weather predictions say that the weekend will be around 20 degrees, if you mention to one person that he should plan to wear pants and he shows up for the trip wearing shorts.... I mean.... it really just put me in a bad mood. It's the common sense thing again. I wish I had emphasized more seriously that I was not kidding that shorts aren't okay. It isn't a fashion rule, but an "I don't want to deal with you getting pneumonia" rule. This member only packed 1 long sleeved shirt and 1 hoodie also. We had to stop at Ryan's on the way out of town to get more layers. It really started my day off on the wrong foot. 

Trip planning tip #6: Couples can be dangerous. I knew that Ryan and I would be attending the Students for Life conference together and no one else was going and I knew that we had a few sightseeing things that we wanted to do during free time, but I didn't think about the consequences that multiple pairs in a small group could have. Obviously Ryan is my best friend so it is logical that we would spend time together, likewise one member had her sister there (who doesn't go to TX State so wasn't too familiar with the rest of the group) so it was way logical that they would stick together, we had one member whose boyfriend got her the free flight through work so he was flying out with her - I didn't know he was staying in DC that weekend - so I learned that they would be together, so that left 3 members without a sister or boyfriend. I figured we would do more things as a group than we did, but that was difficult when Ryan & I had to go to the conference. Also, had a member who was sick part of the time and then went to meet up with friends that she had in the area, which I later learned was actually her boyfriend (I wasn't mad, it just felt deceptive to not say something about how your boyfriend happens to live in the city you are about to visit...). SO that made 2 couples  (romantic & biological paha) in the group, 2 people in the group with boyfriends in the city, and left 2 members without a partner other than each other. It sucked for them because when we had free time and all the couples were out, they were forced to do things together and they didn't really get along. One person said she was yelled at in a museum by the other and it was just like... sad. I was bummed by the two members of the group who had boyfriends in the city that didn't attempt to include our two solo members. 

Trip planning tip #7: Provide addresses & maps & directions ahead of time. I actually did this one! However, as I have mentioned before.... common sense doesn't always come into play. Here is an example of how one conversation went that could have been prevented if this group member had utilized the information packet I provided in advance:

G: what time is Mass?
S: 5:15, all the information and the time is in the packet
G: okay!! how do we get there? can we walk?
S: take the metro, the map & the metro stop are listed in the packet.

G: okay! do you know the name of the stop?

S: it is Brookland CUA. 

G: what's the address so we know how to get there?

This was all taking place while Ryan and I were at the Students for Life conference ON TOP OF another member texting me similar questions. Eventually, I just sent out a group text with all the info anyone could ever want about our trip to the Basilica as a preemptive strike. 

Trip planning tip #7: Take members who have been very active and shown passion for the cause all year. That's all I'm going to say for now, but it is essential. Without passion for the cause, people wouldn't want to spend hours in the cold and walk for a very long time in a slow moving group for the march (which is the whole reason for the trip).

Trip planning tip #8: You can't make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try. I put lots of hours into planning this trip and doing everything I can to make sure it was an affordable and enjoyable time. It sucked to feel like I couldn't make people happy - especially the two members that were left after everyone had "paired off" - but I did everything I could. 

I'll post happy things & fun pictures & memories at a later time, ttfn!

you give me fever

I'm sick. I have been awake off and on since 4:30 this morning and it has been a strange day of waking and sleeping and nightmareing and throwing up (you're welcome for that much needed information) and trying to lay completely still in bed so that I wouldn't feel the urge to puke. It has been quite a day and I missed 4 classes... but the day is over. Just hoping it isn't the flu because I cannot handle getting sick right now.

On another note, I am really lucky to have a great support system all around me throughout my sickness and stress... specifically some lovely ladies, and a few select men, I have met in the Pro-Life movement. I don't just have one support group- I have 3!

First of all, my TX Right to Life family.

I only get to see them all together one time a year at training in June, but the times when I get to see one or two or a few at a time bring me so much joy. We are all facing so many of the same obstacles that we can help each other with and we can all share in each others' joy when one of us finds success. It's really a beautiful thing. These are only a few of the beautiful faces that are scattered across Texas working to defend the unborn and I am so proud to call each of them my friends.

Secondly, my Bobcats for Life family.

I'm so lucky to have these amazing ladies at my side as we deal with the problems life throws at us. They do a great job dealing with me when I get overwhelmed/just want to run away from frustrations, because those frustrations sure show up a lot. They keep me grounded and help me out anytime I ask. They take initiative and think ahead - insert photo of Caroline with her attendance clipboard here and Megan with her Rosary fundraiser ideas - and keep everything in B4L rolling. Also, they are beautiful and hilarious and make doing the work we do SO much fun.

Lastly, but DEFINITELY not least, my National Right to Life Academy sisters.

Spending 6 weeks with 10 girls is bound to create strong friendships, but I didn't realize just how strong and important each of these girls would be to me. I was reminded of that today when I sent a group message out letting them know what I've been going through with school, sickness, and trying to find a balance in life and I was quickly comforted by their kind and thoughtful words that gave me strength and made me laugh. I had expected to keep in contact with the group but I didn't realize how closely connected I would feel to them thanks to our little messaging group we created. Everyday I can hear from a different girl about a trial she is facing or about a joy she wants to share. It's as if I saw them all just last week; it's strange to think it might be a very long time until we will all be reunited in real life. I am so appreciative of them all... especially today.

These beautiful women with such incredible values, strengths, and hearts all have my back and I have each of theirs. I'm so lucky.

in conclusion

 I had a great summer in DC at the National Right to Life Academy. Here's a summary in photos.

spending time with some wonderful ladies
and celebrating birthdays.

learning with some brilliant ladies
and finding time to smile during momentary frustrations.

Living with a crazy, awesome, Russian-Rhode Islander,
potential future Catholic provided for some unforgettable times.

Spending time with some of the brightest
people I have ever met.

Appreciating those who offer their time and wisdom to us.
We were a very blessed group of girls.

I felt emotionally overwhelmed at times this summer, but what
kept me sane was knowing my best friend was coming to visit me!
We got to celebrate his birthday together in DC.

Roger Stenson. He was definitely a highlight of my summer,
of ALL of our summers. We all wished he was our grandpa.

This picture is a perfect example of the friendships we formed this summer.
Great girls. I can't wait to see what great things they will do in this world.

oh and uh can I get an AMEN?!

"The best way to protect our First Amendment rights is to use them without fear."-Father Frank Pavone

My friend Chelsea tweeted this during the NRL Convention and I just found the piece of paper I wrote it on. Serendipitous! Okay now back to work.

I went to the Capitol, y'all

Photo 1: This is when we discovered my camera was not, in fact, broken.
I had turned on a weird setting without knowing it and thought it was broken.
Missed out on a lot of great shots while my camera was being cray cray.

Photo 2: the amazing Chris Smith. Just wow.

Photo 3: Hey wassup, Speaker of the House?

Photo 4: Chelsea & me! Also, heels = always a bad idea.

nice poem

"If"

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream – and not make dreams your master, If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!” If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Living by this wisdom is really difficult lately.

oh today

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

-Martin Luther King Jr

if only my heart could yawn

Emotional exhaustion is the worst, y'all.
My heart feels like this baby right now, only a lot less cute and cuddly:

The National Right to Life Academy has been such a great experience which I will further explain another day, but the experience is, nonetheless, exhausting. Emotion wise, I have been disadvantaged since conception- females are just more emotional. Added to that, I am just pretty sensitive and it really doesn't take much to make me cry... so spending all day everyday learning about abortion and death and dying and sad things has taken its toll on my heart.

energized spirit

When I'm feeling super energized and motivated and inspired, like maybe I'm at the March for Life or getting a text saying "4 women turned around and chose life today," it's like my heart is a pizza... much like this one that some girls and I ate late Friday night:

tired spirit

Then... there's those days when you hear about the sad cases and kind of don't even have the spirit left in you to move an inch. Those days make me feel like this pizza... greasy (kidding), alone, and cold:

Last week I was definitely feeling like the leftover pizza. On Saturday morning, some of the girls went to pray outside the Planned Parenthood here and I just slept in; I don't think I could've handled that situation very well given my worn out corazon. Also, I just haven't felt like going to pray at PP in DC. I had expected that I'd go at least once, but I just really haven't felt called to that. In Austin it feels like most everyone is so unified thanks to the really wonderful peaceful example that the Austin Coalition for Life has set, but I just don't know what the atmosphere on the sidewalks is like elsewhere.

Anyways, I took the weekend to kind of just unwind and try my best not to feel sad. I think I was successful! I spent some time with myself, I spent some time with the girls, I watched some episodes of "The Office," I bought a new maxi-dress (long dress), and I planned out some activities for my favorite boy in the world who is coming to visit me next weekend. I'm kind of really excited. Trying really hard not to use 1,000 exclamation points while talking about his visit.

I got what I asked for AND he's coming to visit me!

Ironic to post this picture today because the first reading at Mass was about asking God for your heart's desires, or something along those lines, and apparently God wasn't joking when he said "ask and it shall be added unto you" and neither does Santa...

Hopefully a more thought provoking and mature post will be coming this week... there's really nowhere to go but up from here, ha ha.

a few photos

we are sho sweepy from studying sho hard

we are sho tech savvy

i am sho wired from coffee

toughen up

band aid for my soul?

I have not been feeling super awesome lately so I decided to venture out this evening to look for cheesecake because everyone knows that the best way to deal with your problems is to cover them in chocolate sauce or anything ending in "-cake." Yeah, turns out that theory is false.

Ended up in a shady little- emphasis on the word little - restaurant and ordered my cheesecake and chicken fingers (I'm like 5 years old) and while I waited for the food, the guy at the counter struck up conversation with me. We started with the weather, told him I'm from TX & here with the Nat'l Right to Life Academy, and then I opened a great can of emotional worms.
Side note: if you are a visual person, the man at the restaurant looked a lot like Tom McGowan who plays Ray's friend Bernie on "Everybody Loves Raymond." 

me: You know, I've been really shocked by the number of homeless people in D.C.
man: Oh, well they choose to be homeless, you know. I've been workin' here about 20 years and see the same people in the same places. They aren't out there trying to get jobs, but they're doing just fine for themselves.

He went on to tell me stories about homeless folks who have turned out to be frauds or have been found sleeping with huge rolls of cash in their hands and other shady stories. I'm not naive enough to think that everyone in the world is honest or that everyone living on the streets is truly in a desperate state of need, but I tend to try to give them the benefit of the doubt... but I hate finding out the sad & messed up stories. Sometimes I like to pretend that everyone is good and nice and stuff... but I'm not ignorant enough to believe it, just too emotionally exhausted to dwell on the bad things all the time. So, even after I got my food we kept chatting...

me: I've just gotten really upset lately having to see all the people on the streets, regardless of who is truly needy and who is scamming.
man: you know what, after living in the city for a while you just gotta learn to look the other way.

I HATE THAT, OKAY! I really didn't like that! This man honestly was pretty nice and seemed like he had good intentions, but, I'm sorry, looking the other way isn't going to make anyone's problems go away, sir. I just really thought that was a sad sentiment.

me: well, I'd rather be gypped by 5 people and help 1 person than not help anyone at all... ya know... it just makes me really sad lately having to pass them everywhere and not know what to do.
man: I know you're from Texas and you've got Christ on the front of your shirt, but you've gotta toughen up.

feeling so happy, omgah

I left pretty soon after that. As I walked away, the man yelled "Toughen up! You'll be fine!" but that didn't really offer me much comfort. I enjoyed the conversation, but it did leave me feeling kind of crappy and really sad. The man had some valid points and made me face some things that suck, but I probably needed to hear them. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to look the other way all the time. I've been talking to the other girls in the Academy about this a lot lately and we've all been pretty frustrated with knowing when to give to the "homeless" (I really hate using quotes on that...). It's so hard because you pass by them and you have like this tiny window to make this huge judgment and assessment of this person's life, situation, need, and the extent of their need.

where my dinner ended up.

Also, after weeks of speculation about a lady who begs in the metro station, we have "cracked that case" and know she is scamming. It's a long story, but the girls and I have been keeping track of all of our sightings of this woman and her accomplices and we've figured out that they are gypping people... honestly, like, I think they might be gypsies. Not sure if that is a politically correct thing to say or not, but it is what it is.

I wish people would just be real because the scammers out there are only further hurting those who are truly hurting already by causing skepticism towards people on the streets. I should probably stop thinking about this because it's making me frustrated even more.

Oh and to top it all off... the food from the restaurant was not enjoyable... not even the cheesecake.

black & white

peace and blessings, peace and blessings!

wise words from my esteemed colleague, Albert.

Vietnam Memorial. it's shocking to walk by all the names... there's just so many.
heartbreaking to see how many lives were lost.

saw this at Arlington National Cemetery. ain't it the truth!

last thought of the day, forreal

I've been writing so much about homelessness lately. I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote about abortion. The next few weeks will likely be filled with abortion related posts as we are delving into that topic in class.

Passion? Check.
Motivation? Check.
Emotional stability to be able to talk about abortion all day without getting sad? I plead the 5th.
Kleenex? Check.

pictures from class

just some pictures from the National Right to Life Academy to give y'all an idea of the environment where the class takes place.