BSW

I did it!

I graduated with my BSW on August 9, 2013.

I started grad school on Tuesday.
So many things in my planner already, but I'm excited!

proud

I have never thought of myself as someone who brags, but I brag on Ryan to my friends a lot. I mean, there is a lot to brag about. Yesterday I got to see him win such a special award and I am just so proud of him.

I can't say that I fully understand some of the things on his resume, but I have gotten a better grasp of it after yesterday, I think. Student Foundation is an organization that Ryan has been a member of for 3 years, having a leadership role for 2 of those years. Honestly, I still barely understand Student Foundation. They have a few events that I recognize, but beyond planning a few events I always felt like there were just so many meetings. Clearly I'm missing something or maybe I was just jealous that StuFo stole Ryan away from me for a few hours a week! From my outsider perspective, and from playing games on his phone and therefore seeing e-mail and text pop-ups and getting into about StuFo news that way, I saw Ryan being so professional, helpful, and kind even in a group text. Believe me, I've been a passive aggressive party in a group text before; people back out and bail on you and it feels good to make those little jabs like "Well okay, since none of you all decided to do X-task, I will set aside everything I have going on and do it all by myself." One thing I love about Ryan is that he doesn't say little bitchy things like that to people like I do. Even though sometimes - not StuFo necessarily - situations will arise and I'm like, "OMG Ryan are you kidding me? This person is dumb as rocks and CANNOT spell- they screwed up, it's their own fault, this isn't your responsibility, etc.," I love that Ryan doesn't listen to my snarky advice (most of the time...okay 99% of the time...) and he maintains his professional kindness with others.

Did that make sense? You know, people talk all about character and stuff when it comes to leadership. I'm just like don't be a jerk and don't take advantage of people and get stuff done. Ryan accomplishes all three of those things. That's why I think he's a good leader.

Anyways, last night Ryan and I went to the awards ceremony for an organization called Stelos Alliance. From what I understand, it is an organization that seeks to award scholarships to student leaders. Like I said, I don't always fully understand the things on Ryan's resume completely. Going into the event, Ryan and all of the other award recipients knew that they would win a scholarship of some kind, but did not know which scholarship or for what amount. Some scholarships were $500, some more, and one scholarship was $5,000. Obviously the biggest scholarship was saved for last, so the night went on and one by one all of the recipients were called up to be honored for their leadership and service to their fellow students. There were six students left when, by some mistake, the pictures of five students flashed up on the screen to receive a Student Foundation scholarship. It happened so fast, but everyone saw and laughed. I wasn't quite sure how everything worked, but Ryan's face was not among those five. My first thought- Did Ryan win the final scholarship? My next thought- wait... so is Ryan not receiving a scholarship? I will say a third time that I don't completely understand all of these organizations and things. So we waited and, apparently Ryan knew at that point he won. For some reason, when they called him up there, my eyes got watery. Well, I wasn't going to cry because that would be weird, but I was so proud of Ryan. The president of the organization awarding the scholarship shared some wonderful details about Ryan that, in my opinion, only barely scratched the surface of what a kindhearted, worthy, and deserving individual Ryan is, and he also called Ryan by the wrong name once (which was funny/awkward/funny). I felt so proud to look up there and see RG  in his sharp tan suit and gold eBay tie I ordered from China for $4 last week (LOL). He stood so tall and maintained his usual humble nature as he stood next to someone showering him with praises and affirmations. It was so special.

The scholarship, the Bill Hogue Memorial Scholarship, was created after a TX State student, Bill Hogue, was tragically killed 6 weeks after his graduation in 1988. A lot of sentimental thoughts about Bill were shared last night and he sounds like he was really a wonderful man. Ryan has a lot in common with him, I believe- both well liked by their peers, both always worked, they both loved the Square, they both were members of StuFo, and they both were involved in the Catholic Student Center despite all of their responsibilities in organizations, in school, and at work. How rare that someone can accomplish so much and maintain a giving spirit and cultivate their spiritual life in such a way? Or perhaps that is how they both managed to do so much- having their faith be a central part of their lives in states of such chaos that is college life. I wish they had mentioned this connection last night because that was the most wonderful part of it, in my opinion. I'm sure that the alliance was aware of that connection and I hope that they realize what a special bond that is between the two men.

I didn't think I would be so touched or would be so overwhelmed with pride after something like last night, but I am just so proud. Okay, better study for my test that's in 20 min!

Grad School!

I was accepted to the Masters of Social Work program at TX State on Tuesday. Really happy! I honestly didn't think I would get in, not sure why.

I will graduate with my Bachelors of Social Work on August 9, 2013 and my Masters of Social Work in August 2014. Wow. Not long til I'm Sarah Ryan, LMSW. So crazy.

It feels SO amazing to have plans for the fall. This whole year has just been a guessing, waiting, hoping, praying, and wondering game. The sense of relief I had upon reading my acceptance e-mail Tuesday night was overwhelming.

I just have 1 paper and 3 finals left until I'll be done with this semester and onto my internship this summer at an agency for foster children ages 0-22. Then I'll officially be done with undergrad.

My experiences in Bobcats For Life the past 4 years and other pro-life activities have been so beneficial to my development as a culturally competent and compassionate social work student. Very grateful for all of the learning opportunities I have been granted through pro-life involvement.

March For Life happiness

We went to the March For Life last week, as mentioned in my previous post, and had a great time. When I say "we" I mean Bobcats For Life. However, I think the part of the weekend that was most special for me was just getting to share it with Ryan. I mean, he is a part of Bobcats For Life, but having him there as my boyfriend and my best friend, not just as a member of the organization, was special to me. He visited me in DC when I was there for the NRL Academy so it was nice to be back there together again.

Ryan is so special to me. When we arrived on Thursday night, we were both experiencing some pretty bad ear discomfort. I felt pretty stressed out and now in pain from ear issues and I kind of just wanted to go to bed and wake up again feeling great. Unfortunately, the night continued to be stressful with the 8 of us trying to find food in the cold at 11 p.m. and my hearing slowly fading away. Once we all got back to the hotel after dinner, I just couldn't handle the pain in my ears. It was just so terrible; it wasn't the normal airplane ear discomfort. Ryan stayed by my side throughout my whole ordeal. He went with me down to the lobby so I could cry without worrying about waking up anyone in the room. He searched on Google for cures (which, by the way, are bullshit. Yawning? nope. Gum chewing? tried it. Plugging your nose and blowing? don't want permanent ear drum damage.) and sat there with me as I cried and cried and used up a box of tissues from my tears and runny nose. He called his mom for motherly advice at 2 a.m. when my mom didn't answer (she did later, to her credit.). He searched online for a 24 hour clinic, but to no avail. He talked me through it all. Honestly, he handled himself like a social worker would. I recognized in him some listening and reflecting skills that I'd read about in my textbook that day. At the end of the night, after lots of phone calls to my insurance company's 24 hour nurse hotline and to our moms and a can of ginger ale, I ended up taking melatonin & ibuprofen and falling asleep on some hot hands. I woke up the next morning feeling so much better. I was so grateful for the care that Ryan provided me, despite how tired he was from such a long and exhausting day of travel and his own ear discomfort. How lucky am I.

The next morning was the Holocaust museum and the Rally. Before the rally, Ryan went with me to visit National Right to Life's office. I hadn't been back since the Academy and, even though I don't really have a relationship with anyone that was there that day, it just felt nice to go back into that building where I spent such a wonderful summer. This is where I got to be reunited with one of my Academy sisters- Erin (pictured above)! It was one of those dramatic "see each other from afar and run up" hugs. It felt so wonderful to see one of the girls in person after 1.5 years of staying so close through our online thread. I really feel so close to these wonderful women, even if we are all across the country doing so many different things. It is so great to be a part of a group of women and be the least lovely. I don't know if that makes sense, but these ladies are all just so much better than me, in that they all just make me want to go do good and be patient and respond to crises with prayer and not with angry emails. They have provided me with so much kind and thoughtful counsel since we met and I am just so lucky to have them to lift me up from this bitter & impatient place I feel like I have fallen into. How lucky I am to be the worst of us and to be able to benefit from so much grace that they share with me.

The Rally was great. It was so much better than the rally in 2011. Seriously. I was really actually inspired by some of the speakers, namely (and surprisingly) Senator Santorum. I didn't think he would really go the emotional route; I thought it would be more of a political speech than a personal testimony. It was really nice.  The thing that everyone from our group mentioned feeling inspired by was just the sense of being surrounded by so many people with a similar passion for protecting life. Sometimes I feel so exhausted, almost like swimming upstream, fighting this battle... but in this whole crowd, it's like you're just swept away by all the supporters. It's nice to just go with the flow; it feels safe in a way to just be able to let your guard down and not worry about having to fight for a little bit. I didn't see a single protester. I did hear some cray guy protesting the Cardinal that spoke.... but that was a really inappropriate time for that little outburst. Sad part of the March was that the whole reason we flew out to DC from Texas was to March for Life... and only 3 out of 8 of us actually finished the March. Everyone got too cold (and I don't blame em! I couldn't have lasted much longer.) and ended up going indoors to museums. I think 2 more might have finished the March after warming up. It was just a bummer we couldn't all march together. Oh well! Got to run into a friend who is now with the Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist while on the march! It was a beautiful surprise. So lovely to see her looking so happy.

The rest of the weekend was great. Ryan and I did a lot of fun things together during free time. We got to meet up with a friend of mine who just graduated from Baylor and had moved to the city 4 days prior. It was so much fun meeting her & her roommate; we had a wonderful time! It was beautiful to see snow on the ground, an old friend's face, and Ryan in his winter hat. So many wonderful sights to see - and I don't even mean the monuments or museums. The bouncer at the bar we went to was playing Angry Birds so we talked about that for a while (just wanted to remember this hilarious moment in years to come). We also went to a bar we had found on Yelp a few weeks back and were so excited to see that the drinks were as awesome as the reviews suggested (Stan's Restaurant, folks!).
The next day, Ryan and I went to the Students for Life of America conference. I felt a little old for it, to be honest. After spending so much time in this movement as a college student, it just felt like stuff I had already heard a hundred times and also stuff I didn't think was relevant. Had a social worker conscience twinge when some guy - who I obviously didn't enjoy because I don't even remember his name - went on some rant about how the "COEXIST" bumper stickers are evil. Well, I'll rant about how wrong he is another day, but I wasn't going to sit there and have my soul cry from listening to such ignorance so Ryan and I went to check out the booths and I got to meet some sweet ladies from Feminists for Life. I think that was the highlight of the conference for me. We didn't stay the whole time. I do think it is a good experience for high schoolers and college students that are new to the movement and want to be in the pro-life movement with a very religious emphasis. I, however, am not about that. Another post on that someday. lolz. I appreciated the opportunity to attend though. It was inspiring to see so many teens gathered in one room for life.

That night, we went to the Basilica for Mass. Only bummer is that by the time we got there, the place was packed & standing room only.... and it was HOT. I felt really faint and couldn't stay in the main church area with all that heat, so I went downstairs to my favorite spot in the whole place. The chapel of Our Lady of Brezje. Something about this place has drawn me in since the first time I was there in January 2011. I ended up praying there after traveling 1,500 miles from San Marcos to D.C. only to run into the person who hurt me more than I'd ever been hurt before and had not seen in 6 months. What were the odds of that? I'd say close to slim. But after that chance/freak encounter I remember feeling so shaky and uneasy. Gosh, when I saw this person I honestly felt like I was in a bad dream. I immediately whispered to Reese, "he's here" and she knew exactly what I meant. I ended up speaking to this person - civilly, as considering unposted circumstances, there wouldn't have been a way for me to speak to him uncivilly - and walking away. That was the last time I saw him. Shaken from an unexpected trip to a dark time from the previous summer, I went wandering around the lower church to look at the chapels. There were hundreds of people down there for overflow seating from the upper church. People were in almost every chapel, praying or looking or taking pictures, but this one was empty... and it has always been empty everytime I have been there. I remember kneeling there and crying and feeling comfort in the fact that I had no one around to ask if I'm okay or try to talk to me. I remember just wanting to cry. The wall on the right had a quote engraved in it that may have been chiseled in the marble just for me in that moment:

and I kind of understood that the whole experience maybe just needed to happen. God needed me stuck in overflow seating and needed that person to be across the country in the lower church wearing that ensemble standing with that group of his colleagues - to prevent an uncivil discourse or tears on my part, perhaps - for me to have some kind of closure? I don't know. I just know that I cried in this chapel and I love this quote and that was probably the last day he really had much of a hold over me in a destructive way.
It felt really therapeutic to be back in this chapel almost exactly 2 years later knowing that I am free from the fear and insecurity caused by that person. It was wonderful to know that upstairs at Mass was my Ryan, a man who respects me and loves me and would never treat me the way I'd been treated by this person. I don't think I usually get this person on this blog- oops! I don't think I've written very explicitly about this person and I think this will be the only time I delve into that, but it is over and I am loved and I am respected and I am happy. I love that chapel and the chance to kneel there and pray. I haven't been praying enough lately; it is a problem. This is the prayer of Our Lady of Brezje:

Mary, Help of Christians,you show us how to be Christian,how to "hear the word of God and keep it" (Luke 11:28).Help us to respond to God as you did,that His power work in us,that the Spirit form Christ in us,and that His mind, His heart, His will be ours.We ask this through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.

After Mass, 4 of us went to Chinatown for dinner. I loved the food I had at Ming's! Ryan and I were both surprised by how much I enjoyed it, haha. After Ming's was one of the coolest parts of the night - meeting Ruthie (author of The Itchy Scapular)! I had never met Ruthie in real life before. We met through a very strange series of occurences that I think goes from Youtube to Blogger to Youtube to Blogger to Youtube to Facebook, or some combination of that. Luckily, I wasn't catfished! Ryan and I had so much fun meeting Ruthie and hanging out with some of her hilarious army friends at a very TEXAN bar called Hill Country. It was just so great to meet someone whose blog I've read and whose statuses I have liked. Ruthie is just lovely and hope we can meet up again!

 Had to get a traditional pic with the beautiful Mother Teresa statue at the Basilica. I swear I have a third one from another visit floating around my computer somewhere.

Overall, I just have to say that it was a lovely time. I've made this comment before but it's the only way I can think to describe- I lost my voice and can barely hear out of either ear, but doing what I love with the one I love was beautiful & unforgettable.


Oh, p.s. turns out I have a double ear infection & I'm on antibiotics. the end.

welcome RUBY!

my niece was born on Saturday.

I LOVE HER!

this is what a doting auntie looks like:

Dear Ruby,
Can't wait to watch you grow!
Love,
Aunt Sarah

ocean & emotion

I saw the ocean for the first time ever last week. It was beautiful.

Key West

Nassau

Now I'm back and I have a week of "nothing to do" and I am feeling hyper emotional and excessively introspective. I'm also spending way too much time on Pinterest & Etsy, due in part to my sister's upcoming baby shower.

I am just feeling like my own skin doesn't suit me the past few days; feels like I am just not in the right place, like I need to do something about it, but all I can do is try to think - yes, try, because fruitful thoughts are out of my reach in this strange state I find myself in. Just yikes.

Going to Michigan with Ryan next week. Looking forward to it. Will write here again in the next few days- and will actually have relevant pro-lifery to write about, I hope.

timeline of love

as a beautiful series of events has just come to a close, I felt an entry was needed to document how amazing God is and how crazy perfect His plans are. It all started with an angry pro-choice poster and it ended with 500 people applauding a brave woman.

September
- discovered a poster on campus promoting a protest outside of an Austin PRC's fundraising dinner. (as seen at right... I found the flyer on Facebook later)
- Sarah G called the PRC and warned them.
- the PRC director, Lori, was grateful for the heads up (the protest ended up being a flop).

October
- Lori came all the way to San Marcos to our next meeting and shared stories.
- we asked if we might adopt a family of one of her clients for Christmas.

December
- we were matched with Margaret's family.
- we all donated toys, clothes, diapers for the baby twins and 3 year old.
- as a group, we wrapped and decorated all of the gifts
- about 12 of us drove to Austin to deliver the gifts to Margaret at the PRC
- we met one of the most grateful women ever. Margaret shared her life story with us.
- the idea of throwing a 1st birthday party for Margaret's twins was thrown out there.
- Margaret's kids had an amazing (<-link to more pictures) Christmas.

February
- planning stage for the twins' birthday party.
- keeping in touch with Margaret.

March
- 4 of us drove to Austin to have a birthday party (<- link to more pictures) for Lolo & Margarita.
- we had an awesome time.
- 3 year old Rosa loved the bubbles we brought her.
- Lolo loved the cupcakes.
- the following week, I sent Margaret an application for a scholarship I found online for a mother who had chosen life for her children.
- over spring break, we emailed daily getting all of her application requirements taken care of.
- in less than a week, Margaret had everything turned in.



April
- after a very rough week, Margaret received some beautiful news.
- she received notification that she won the scholarship!
- Margaret & family attended a beautiful gala to receive the scholarship.
- after reading her application essay to the 500 people present, Margaret received a standing ovation. (I wish I had a picture)
- oh yeah, and Ryan & I got to babysit the babies during the gala (so fun).


This whole journey has been so beautiful. It has been such a blessing to be with Margaret through this. I haven't happy cried so much in my life as I have as a result of spontaneous blessings she received during the past 4 months. Granted, there were downs too... but the ups, oh the ups were so incredible.

It all started with an angry pro-choice poster hanging up on a bulletin board in the philosophy building that I passed by while delivering mail. The Lord works in mysterious (and super weird) ways.




These little faces are just too great.

i am so happy

i have written before about margaret. i am in a hurry to cook with my main squeeze so i can't get into too many details now, but so much has happened in the past week... and never before have i seen beauty come from ashes so quickly. i will write more about it later. i was brought to happy tears in public last night over this.

i am amazed at how, in times of another's suffering, one can become wise. i found myself speaking words that were not my own many times this past week. i am so grateful for the way the spirit can flow through so quietly and gently that it is almost undetectable.

talking to margaret yesterday, providentially Good Friday, i heard myself guiding her but i was really teaching myself. she has gone through so much this week- so much - and the Spirit taught me this through my words to her:

you are suffering, my child, at a time when I suffered under the weight of the Cross. do not fear, for as I died for you I overcame the world. I died and rose again, so shall you suffer and rise from the ashes of your broken heart. 


never really felt so urged to share something like that with someone, but it was nice.

i'll write later about the incredibly beautiful wonderful great awesome thing that i am just thinking and thinking and praising God about.

happy hour

I got back to my apartment from being home for spring break and I checked my mail and I had a copy of The Human Life Review waiting for me... and my writing was in it! That was such a nice feeling. I am now changing my name to Appendix F (Appendix for short). KIDDING! 

Now, my e-mail is down and the TX State website is down... so I can't catch up on e-mails or check on homework... darn! ;) Just had a nice hour long guidance session from Melissa at Texas Right to Life and she talked me through some issues Bobcats for Life has been having. Cool times!

It is also Sonic Happy Hour... so I'm going to go get my cherry limeade on and then read some articles by people that are way smarter than me and then I'm going to clean the rest of the apartment. Oh, spring break!

what love is

For Christmas, Bobcats for Life adopted a PRC client's family and provided gifts and diapers. We were so taken by the mother that we offered to throw a birthday party for her twin babies. Well, that day finally arrived and it was so amazing to meet the little ones whose names we wrote on the to-and-from tags last semester. Hearing about the struggles this family faces makes my heart ache, but I am happy knowing that we have helped them in some way. When I see the last picture on this blog post (a picture of my friend Elise holding one of the twins) I just think: this is what love is. So grateful for this opportunity to love. Makes me want to do direct social work practice someday, but we'll see. 

this is love 

if I could tell the story in words...

"If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug around a camera." -Lewis Hine (idk who that is)

Today I went to classes, worked, and had a pro-life meeting with my Priest and some Bobcats for Life regarding a pretty awesome event we're planning for March! Now, I've finished my homework and done a little bit of life work and shared some photo files with TX Right to Life and that made me look at my pictures again and I wanted to share them here.

I like this quote: "Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner." I don't consider myself a photographer, but man.... I love to take pictures. So much! It's nice to be in them, and I honestly wish I'd been in just one at the rally but whatevs, but mostly I love taking them. I also love capturing people when they are really happy, especially laughing. Among my friends and Bobcats for Life, I am known for demanding "fake laughing" pictures. Anyways, here's some TX Rally For Life pics!

Fr. Brian with one of Bobcats for Life's very kind and generous friends!

My TX Right to Life babes. Oh and actually I was in 1 picture! This one!

This picture just makes me say hell yes.
Also, it makes me say Caroline looks so tan.

Schneidy loves the babies.

Emily was adopted and I seriously love this picture. 

Courtni reppin b4L!

i love this.

Angelica & her boyfriend.
p.s. guys.... pro life rallies= HOT date

my group :) AND this was after a few people had already left!
Tyler and I were collecting donations and my 2009 prom date took this picture.
Just had to add that fun fact. LOLz.

when Benedict started crying, his hilarious mom said "he's crying because abortion  makes him so sad!" and it was the funniest moment of the whole march.  he is so perfect.

met a pro-life former state rep today!

I made 3 signs today in preparation for the TX Rally for Life on Saturday. Hollllaaaa!

Also, awesomeness this morning when a conservative former state representative, Arlene Wohlgemuth, came to my Social Work Policy class. My teacher had warned the class ahead of time that the speaker would be sooooo opposite what we believe -- because apparently everyone in a class believes the same thing -- and just gave us a heads up that a conservative woman would be speaking to us. Turns out, she was awesome. Although she shared a few different opinions that the majority of the class, she communicated so well that it was a really friendly discussion.

Of course, secretly I wanted pro-life issues to come up the whole time... and then, like clockwork, the minute that class was over- someone asked a question ("How did it make you feel when Texas Monthly named you the Worst of the Worst?") which led to her talking about her awesome pro-life work, or as my classmates might call it, "her anti-choice destruction of women's rights. That very last minute just made my day. I went to shake her hand afterwards and thank her for her pro-life work and ended up discovering that I have random pro-life mutual friends with my liberal sweet professor. LOL. Trying to figure this teacher out.

Seriously though, now I'm googleing Wohlgemuth and realizing.... wow. I wish she could've spoken the whole class about the policy changes she has seen in the pro-life realm of Texas. Maybe a future Bobcats for Life speaker?!?!?!? Say whaaat?!!! E-mailing her in 3... 2... 1...

why do you not drive a station wagon?

This video encompasses so much of what has been annoying me lately. Love it.

"Why do you not drive a station wagon? Your car is too nice for someone with food stamps."

most beautiful

members with some of the gifts after wrapping

A quick post to share one of the most beautiful things I have ever been a part of.

Bobcats for Life adopted a PRC client's family for Christmas this year. We used some of our funds (okay actually a lot of... more than expected) to purchase gifts and necessities for the children - 6 month old twins - a boy and a girl - and a 3 year old girl. Group members also donated out of their own pockets and hearts. I posted last week about the fun we had wrapping the gifts, but that didn't come close to the experience of giving the gifts.

I was the first to walk into the PRC and when I entered the room where the mother was waiting for us, she hugged me so tight and just started crying on my shoulder saying thank you, thank you, God bless you, thank you. I felt so happy to be there with her and so happy to know that we were able to help someone in such a state of need. We seriously had so many presents and so many cute things for her to take home.

"We had a tree donated to us, but we have no presents to put under it," the mother said, tearfully. We were all crying and taking in the moment, the gifts, the tears, the gratitude, the immediate closeness we felt with her. It was so wonderful. We spent a lot of time talking with her and hearing her story - which was another tearjerker cry-fest - and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my money and Friday afternoon. It was incredible. We are staying in contact with her and will be throwing a 1st birthday party for her twins next semester. :) Before we left, she hugged each one of us so tight and she could not stop thanking us or crying. She finally said, "I just want you all to leave so I don't keep talking and crying so much!" It was so great.

such an amazing memory

so proud

Just got off the phone with a super awesome young gurlie friend of mine from my hometown. She is starting a chapter of YoungLives back home! I am so proud of her for promoting a culture of life in Allen; she's already been promoting a culture of life across the globe by working in an orphanage in China the past few summers, uh wow! I haven't heard of any other lifegiving organizations back in my 'hood so this is much needed & awesome.






Are you thinking "wHaT iS yOuNgLiVeS?!" Well, here's an answer from their website:

Treating each mom and her child or children with unconditional love and respect, YoungLives offers teen moms relief from the isolation and struggle of their daily lives and hope for the future. YoungLives mentors provide friendship, parenting advice and help meeting the practical demands of raising a child. At YoungLives club and camp, moms get to socialize and have fun while their babies get the best possible care.

FABULOUS! <3

there's no such thing as free lunch, but there is such a thing as free silly bandz

I haven't updated in a while... so incredibly busy! The semester is winding down and I've decided to switch my major to Social Work. Excited about that, but that's another story for another day.

I love when I go to check the mail and my favorite Pro-Life organization has sent me Pro-Life cups and notepads and sillybandz :)

on this perfect day

Today the doorbell rang and my roommate and I looked at each other like uhhh how about YOU answer that... and I ended up answering it. I crept up to the door to peek through the peephole, thinking it would be someone creepy, but it was the UPS guy... with a package... FOR ME!

Turns out... it was this! What a great suprise.

wearing shorts in February

I have this note taped to the door in my bathroom
so this image is reflected in my mirror.



Today has been a super long day. I was exhausted even when I woke up after sleeping for 9 hours (which stinks) but everything ended up leading to a really random blessing. The more I think about it, pretty much every blessing lately feels pretty random, but whatevs.

Getting dressed for my weightlifting class this morning (I'm so cool) I was unaware that it was cold outside. I only realized this after I was walking out of my apartment and I didn't have time to change... therefore, I wore shorts.



It was chilly for most of the day as I went to weightlifting, social work, etc. Then I had to go to the airport and, being an occasional punctuality freak, I gave myself a lot of extra time to make sure traffic wasn't bad. Turns out traffic was fabulous, so by the time I got really close to the airport I had an entire extra hour before I needed to be anywhere.

I'd considered going to pray at the abortion mill while I was walking to class this morning but I didn't know if time would allow or if it was something I was supposed to do today, but considering I accidentally took the exit for the mill, I thought, OKAY!

I've never been to the abortion mill when there's no one else there. I rarely use the word nervous to describe how I feel, but I definitely was like super aware of my surroundings standing there with just me, the sidewalk, the few cars in the parking lot, and the mill.

Quick note: I use the terms "mill" and "facility" because it has been pointed out to me that the word "clinic" implies that people leave better than they were when they arrived or that some kind of beneficial service is taking place and I don't feel that facilities that commit abortions offer any sort of healing for anyone- mother, father, or child. Sometimes I almost say "abortion clinic" just because it's so commonly used and thrown around, but this year I've been making an effort to use more appropriate terminology. jtlyk (new favorite acronym).



Like I said, there were very few cars in the parking lot- so that was good. A car pulled up with a couple inside who looked to be in their late thirties. I just smiled at the man and he smiled back and then they went inside. There's no way to know why they were there, but the woman looked very broken for one reason or another. They came back out about 20 minutes later right before I left and the man and I exchanged smiles again while the woman kept her head down.



in case you wondered what my shorts looked like...
or you really wanted to see how messy my
bathroom counter is...



Two women came out later who appeared to be mother & daughter, but that's just what they seemed to me. It was really heartbreaking. One of the women held onto the rail the whole way from leaving the building, walking down some steps, and across the little bridge to the parking lot. The other woman (in my mind, "the mom") held onto her while she made her way to the car. They never smiled or talked to each other, they just looked broken. It was really sad...

The biggest moment of my time on the sidewalk today was when a taxi pulled up. Usually, the taxis will pull up as close to the building as they can which leaves very few opportunities for sidewalk counselors to reach out to the women or share information with them. I wasn't going to try; I was just feeling called to pray today. The taxi driver got out and opened the door for the young lady when they arrived, which made me chuckle. Chivalry is a lost art and it was ironic to see a chivalrous display in the abortion mill parking lot. The woman went inside and as the taxi was leaving the lot the driver rolled down the passenger side window (the side I was nearest) and yelled something at me. I looked at him kind of surprised and asked What? while PRAYING that this wasn't a confrontation- PLEASE God, don't let this be something mean!

He said, "Aren't you freezing in those shorts? I'm wearing a jacket and I'm cold!" So I approached the taxi and said, "Well, it's cold but I need to be praying so I'm trying not to think about it, ha ha." He asked me why I was praying out on the sidewalk and I said, "well, this is an abortion facility and... I really don't like abortion." He had no idea it was an abortion mill. He said "I don't like abortion either... Oh no, I really hope that wasn't what that girl was after. I asked her a couple questions and she said she just had to stop in for a minute... you don't think...?" and I told him what I knew about the procedures that take place inside that building. He was devastated. He told me he thought it was great that someone would be out there praying but asked,

"but my question is, since people know what's going on in there- why aren't there more people out here?"

(I like got chills when he said that. It's so true though- if we know about this injustice, why aren't more of us out there more frequently? The way he asked was just so like- how are we letting this happen oh gosh it was so powerful to me. okay emotional mini-rant= over.). I told him about 40 Days for Life and how there will be way more people out there starting March 9 and that even on Saturdays there tends to be groups of people praying.

I have no idea how long I talked to this man, but it was probably the most amazing thing to happen to me in a while. Once I told him about the Pro-Life group I'm working with he immediately got out his business card (which is so funny- has a cute joke on the back) and said to call him if he can ever be of any help. My day = made. The most touching part was when "Dave" (I've never really changed names in a story or anything, not really sure why I am now, but I guess I should start changing real life names?) opened up and told me about a girlfriend he'd had back in the day (I'm guessing Dave is in his late fifties). He said his girlfriend was a model and a dancer and then one day she just casually told him that she'd had 5 abortions. Heartbreaking. Dave's comment on that was "just like blowing your nose on a tissue and throwing it away like it's no big deal." I can't imagine the emotional, and even physical, brokenness someone would experience after 5 abortions.

I am still just really amazed at Dave's openness and true care expressed towards life. Like, he really cared and really wanted to talk about it. There was no fear behind his words, only sincerity and concern. The way he reacted when I told him that this building was an abortion facility is the way that everyone should be reacting when they find out about the tragedies taking place all around the world. 81,000 abortions in Texas in a year... 35,000 a day in China... this is not right.

Dave gave me his contact information and my plan is to get him some material about abortion and some brochures about Pregnancy Resource Centers and hotlines that he can potentially distribute if a woman or man ever gets into his taxi and asks to be taken to an abortion mill. I've seen a lot of taxis pull up in those parking lots- but what if the driver could talk to her on the way there? I'm just giddy about this. He was seriously so nice. I've just been meeting the most random nice people lately. Stop blessing me, God! It's getting incessant! Jk totally keep up the blessings because it rocks.