toughen up

band aid for my soul?

I have not been feeling super awesome lately so I decided to venture out this evening to look for cheesecake because everyone knows that the best way to deal with your problems is to cover them in chocolate sauce or anything ending in "-cake." Yeah, turns out that theory is false.

Ended up in a shady little- emphasis on the word little - restaurant and ordered my cheesecake and chicken fingers (I'm like 5 years old) and while I waited for the food, the guy at the counter struck up conversation with me. We started with the weather, told him I'm from TX & here with the Nat'l Right to Life Academy, and then I opened a great can of emotional worms.
Side note: if you are a visual person, the man at the restaurant looked a lot like Tom McGowan who plays Ray's friend Bernie on "Everybody Loves Raymond." 

me: You know, I've been really shocked by the number of homeless people in D.C.
man: Oh, well they choose to be homeless, you know. I've been workin' here about 20 years and see the same people in the same places. They aren't out there trying to get jobs, but they're doing just fine for themselves.

He went on to tell me stories about homeless folks who have turned out to be frauds or have been found sleeping with huge rolls of cash in their hands and other shady stories. I'm not naive enough to think that everyone in the world is honest or that everyone living on the streets is truly in a desperate state of need, but I tend to try to give them the benefit of the doubt... but I hate finding out the sad & messed up stories. Sometimes I like to pretend that everyone is good and nice and stuff... but I'm not ignorant enough to believe it, just too emotionally exhausted to dwell on the bad things all the time. So, even after I got my food we kept chatting...

me: I've just gotten really upset lately having to see all the people on the streets, regardless of who is truly needy and who is scamming.
man: you know what, after living in the city for a while you just gotta learn to look the other way.

I HATE THAT, OKAY! I really didn't like that! This man honestly was pretty nice and seemed like he had good intentions, but, I'm sorry, looking the other way isn't going to make anyone's problems go away, sir. I just really thought that was a sad sentiment.

me: well, I'd rather be gypped by 5 people and help 1 person than not help anyone at all... ya know... it just makes me really sad lately having to pass them everywhere and not know what to do.
man: I know you're from Texas and you've got Christ on the front of your shirt, but you've gotta toughen up.

feeling so happy, omgah

I left pretty soon after that. As I walked away, the man yelled "Toughen up! You'll be fine!" but that didn't really offer me much comfort. I enjoyed the conversation, but it did leave me feeling kind of crappy and really sad. The man had some valid points and made me face some things that suck, but I probably needed to hear them. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to look the other way all the time. I've been talking to the other girls in the Academy about this a lot lately and we've all been pretty frustrated with knowing when to give to the "homeless" (I really hate using quotes on that...). It's so hard because you pass by them and you have like this tiny window to make this huge judgment and assessment of this person's life, situation, need, and the extent of their need.

where my dinner ended up.

Also, after weeks of speculation about a lady who begs in the metro station, we have "cracked that case" and know she is scamming. It's a long story, but the girls and I have been keeping track of all of our sightings of this woman and her accomplices and we've figured out that they are gypping people... honestly, like, I think they might be gypsies. Not sure if that is a politically correct thing to say or not, but it is what it is.

I wish people would just be real because the scammers out there are only further hurting those who are truly hurting already by causing skepticism towards people on the streets. I should probably stop thinking about this because it's making me frustrated even more.

Oh and to top it all off... the food from the restaurant was not enjoyable... not even the cheesecake.

black & white

peace and blessings, peace and blessings!

wise words from my esteemed colleague, Albert.

Vietnam Memorial. it's shocking to walk by all the names... there's just so many.
heartbreaking to see how many lives were lost.

saw this at Arlington National Cemetery. ain't it the truth!

let me live

I wish I had my guitar with me here in DC! All I have with me is this rough video from last fall. Hmmph. This is a song I wrote last November. I had just been thinking a lot about the unborn and how helpless they are. I started wondering how different things might be if they could speak up, if somehow they could express themselves other than kicking and swimming around. I sometimes joke that I wish that God could text or Skype so that my life would be a lot "easier" but what if the unborn could communicate with us- is there any unborn child that would say abortion is the way to go, mom? I'm also reminded of a saying my freshman year roomie Michelle liked- given a choice, they'd want a chance. 

If she spoke her first words today, could you still go through with it?
Would you listen to what she'd say?
If you could ask her what to do, what advice would she give?
Something like love me, let me live.

last thought of the day, forreal

I've been writing so much about homelessness lately. I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote about abortion. The next few weeks will likely be filled with abortion related posts as we are delving into that topic in class.

Passion? Check.
Motivation? Check.
Emotional stability to be able to talk about abortion all day without getting sad? I plead the 5th.
Kleenex? Check.

rando factz

If you are a stranger I've met on the street twice and you are reading this, please watch this video: Zachary's Thoughts On Abortion or actually if you are anyone that is anywhere you should watch it! 

look at this picture but instead of the
label "fetus" imagine the label "Gianna." 

I've been lucky enough to meet some really wonderful people in the past 2 years of my involvement in the Pro-Life movement.  These are their stories. *cue dramatic Law & Order- bumbum- sound*


Gianna Jessen, abortion survivor
Gianna's mother was 17 and in her third trimester when she had a saline abortion. This was completely legal. Until last year, I personally was unaware that a woman could have an abortion up until the time of birth. Roe v. Wade secures a woman's right to have an abortion in the first trimester and the states' rights to regulate after that point, but Doe v. Bolton ruled simultaneously and granted women the right to have an abortion at any time if the child would be a risk to her health. However, the definition of the word "health" is so broad that any woman could argue that an unwanted child would be a risk to her "health" even up to birth. According to Minnesota Citizens Concerned for Life:

Doe v. Bolton was meant to be read in conjunction with its more famous counterpart. In Doe, the Court ruled that a woman's right to an abortion could not be limited by the state if abortion was sought for reasons of maternal health. The Court defined health as "all factors physical, emotional, psychological, familial, and the woman's age relevant to the well-being of the patient." This health exception expanded the right to abortion for any reason through all three trimesters of pregnancy.
This definition is so broad and encompassing that it allows for wrong timing, marital status, fear of pain, too many children, weight gain, etc., as "health" reasons. Because of Doe, any reason for abortion can be construed as a health reason. Together with Roe v. Wade, Doe v. Bolton allows abortion for any reason and at any time during the pregnancy.

Me, Jacob, and Rebecca surrounding Gianna

In a saline abortion, the abortionist injects concentrated salt into the amniotic sac so the baby swallows the poison and the baby's skin is also burned away. The baby is being burned alive in her mother's womb and struggles to escape the poison but, errbody knows that the uterus doesn't have an escape route if the baby feels threatened or is in pain (aka 5 weeks into pregnancy). After injecting the solution, the mother leaves the clinic and enters into labor about 1.5 days later. The baby is delivered usually around 72 hours of injection, but the baby is delivered dead... except in Gianna's case.


Gianna was born alive. A nurse in the abortionist's office had Gianna taken to the hospital and luckily Gianna survived and was adopted. She has "the gift of cerebral palsy" and when she speaks- people listen. She is truly one of the most amazing people I've ever met. One of my favorite things she said was "Just because I walk with a limp doesn't mean I want to marry an ugly guy." How she managed to bring up dating standards as the keynote speaker at a Pro-Life benefit in Austin last year is beyond me... but I loved it. If you want to hear her tell her story click here. It's a 2 part video but it is TOTES worth it. She's pretty amazing.

first time I met Abby... I was really giddy.

Abby Johnson, PP director turned Pro-Life activist
Abby became involved with Planned Parenthood as a volunteer in 2001, but by 2008 she was named Planned Parenthood's employee of the year. After years of doing everything she could to do what she thought was helping women, Abby realized what she was really doing. Assisting in an ultrasound guided abortion, where the abortionist locates the baby using a sonogram machine rather than just poking around a woman's uterus and risking perforation, Abby watched as a baby at 13 weeks fought for his life in his mother's womb and struggled to escape the abortionist's tool but ultimately, lost his life. Realizing that this baby at only 13 weeks was actively trying to escape, Abby knew she had to get out of Planned Parenthood. 


After leaving, Abby exposed some of the lies Planned Parenthood feeds its employees and patients. One lie PP was telling women was that their babies couldn't feel pain which, as Abby witnessed, wasn't true. Fetal pain is real. Babies shouldn't have to endure the pains of abortion. Abby also shed light on the financial motives of PP regarding abortions. PP advocates will jump at the chance to tell you that abortions only account for 3% of their services, but will be reluctant to let you know that abortion accounts for more than a third of their revenue (great facts here). Read her article here that exposes PP's warped business model. Abby states in the article that even the 3% claim is false:

Planned Parenthood’s claim that abortions make up just 3 percent of its services is also a gimmick. That number is actually closer to 12 percent, but strategically skewed by unbundling family planning services so that each patient shows anywhere from five to 20 “visits” per appointment (i.e., 12 packs of birth control equals 12 visits) and doing the opposite with abortion visits, bundling them together so that each appointment equals one visit. The resulting difference between family planning and abortion “visits” is striking.

She goes on to mention that by 2013  all of its affiliates provide abortions. I thought the goal was to reduce abortions? Apparently not so much. And without abortion, where would PP be financially? I'm all for helping women, I kiiinnd of am one and all, but abortion isn't helping women and the cost of an unborn life is too great to cover the cost of their other services (including non-existent mammograms... shammograms).


To hear more about Abby's story and incredible journey- which includes having to deal with some freaking crazy Pro-Lifers - read her book Unplanned. So good. Also, she is just a cool person to talk to. She says what she thinks and she has a good time doing what she does. She has me lol-ing everytime I hear her speak!

Didn't have my camera when I met Lila #fail
but I have the Live Action card #notascoolasapicture.

Lila Rose, founder/president of Live Action
Not only is Lila incredibly beautiful and has great hair, she is a Pro-Life superstar. I got to meet her at the FOCUS conference in Nashville in January and she was so endearing! Live Action works to expose the abuses of the abortion industry and recently has been in the news for a series of investigations of Planned Parenthood locations across the country. Their blog has great content.


One thing Lila inspired me to do this year was call Planned Parenthood just to see what they say on the phone. The Pro-Life community has created this huge dark cloud of an idea of Planned Parenthood and I was just curious how true that is, so I started calling. Initially I would call clinics in TX and ask about emergency contraception which was pretty true to their standards; it's not hard to get. Over the next few weeks I started calling Colorado, Michigan, and California. Kind of a random group of states, haha. The thing I found most interesting was that despite Planned Parenthood's claim to be Pro-Woman and Pro-Choice, you can't get a sonogram there UNLESS it is preceding an abortion... which is weird. Pregnancy is a part of the lives of many women, so shouldn't an organization that is so keen on helping women be eager to perform sonograms?


My favorite phone call was to a PP in California. They were friendly (unlike the one in Flint, MI- uh, RUDE!). I asked to have a sonogram done to determine the sex of my baby since I was at 22 weeks. I was out of town so I couldn't go to my doctor. PP said they don't perform sonograms. I asked if they did before abortions. She said yes. I said that I already had a daughter so I wanted the sonogram done to determine the baby's sex and if the sonogram said my baby was a girl I wanted to abort, so I asked if I could just schedule an abortion as if I were going to go through with it and then if it ended up being a boy I could just "spontaneously" back out. She put me on hold. A few minutes later she came back and gave me the number to another Planned Parenthood and wished me luck. Something about that was just eerie to me. Her reaction was as if my request was very commonplace... frightening.


Father Frank Pavone, director of Priests for Life 
I wrote about Fr. Frank pretty recently after the National Right to Life Convention, but in case you are reading this, my new friend, I'd like you to take a look at this: http://www.youtube.com/user/FrFrankPavone. It's Father Frank's YouTube channel and this guy tells it like it is. For me, it took learning about the methods of abortion and watching videos like the ones on Father Frank's YouTube (specifically under the playlist "This Is Abortion"). The word "abortion" or what some Pro-Choicers will call "termination of pregnancy" seems simple, while in reality- the process of burning a child alive, of dismembering a baby limb by limb, of crushing a baby's skull, of vacuuming a child up - is a big deal, a freaking big injustice, and ought to be treated as such.



Okay, I really want to write about Melissa Ohden and DAN COMPTON and Carrie Holland but I should get to work on some other things. This post didn't seem to have much of an objective or structure other than if you are reading this, P, I hope that something in this made you agree/disagree with me more.