stuck.

how can i study when my heart is struck with so much sadness?

prayer

I did a lot of reflecting this weekend on retreat and had a nice time. Upon returning home I read some devastating news about the death of a Pro-Life warrior woman and her unborn child, and about the critical condition of a young man I met this summer at the NRL office. A recent update about him said:

Jon Scharfenberger, the SFLA Coordinator of our Pregnant on Campus Initiative, in the car during the accident and Hawkins tells LifeNews he “is not doing well.” She said Monday morning, “Currently, he is in critical condition in a hospital in Georgia, where the accident happened.

I am heartbroken for the mother, her child, and their family. I just can't quite understand how things like this happen, I guess. I've never lost someone very close to me or even someone (other than family) that I have been acquaintances with really; understanding death is not something I do well.

Times like this are what really show us what matters, I suppose, and show us the fragility of human life.

What is difficult for me is the concept of being fine one second and gone the next; without even knowing it is happening your entire life can be taken from you. I don't know how to explain myself right now. I am so distraught over this and I hardly know Jon. He was very smart and very Catholic and very cheerful/full of energy any time I was around him this summer. Lord, please let him live.

I am heartbroken over this accident while barely knowing Jon; I cannot even imagine the anguish his family and friends must be experiencing.

St. Jude, pray for us.

[UPDATE] Just saw this:

Prayers for Jon ScharfenbergerOur other staff member injured in the accident that claimed Kortney and her baby, Sophy, is Jon Scarfenberger.
I’ve been in constant contact throughout the day with our SFLA staff getting updates.
It’s bad, and at 3 AM it turned really bad. It’s gotten worse throughout the day. At this point, we need a miracle for Jon to make it to tomorrow. If it’s God’s will, may Jon stay and grow old with us.
Please pray for this beautiful young man, and for his family who are beside themselves with grief and the hard work of keeping him alive. Jon’s mom is a nurse and at the hospital in Georgia. His dad is a physician and should be arriving there shortly, after coordinating efforts from their home here in New York.
Updates to follow, but for now, please pray!

definition of rando

getting my caffeine on! this drink is bigger than my head so I
think it should be sufficient to keep me working for a few hours.

made these hanging blocks for my room a month or so ago 

Dalai Lama was in DC this summer for his birthday party apparently...
anyways, I bought this when he was in town!

caffeine + new bangs = ruh roh

back to work! bye!

slowing down

Praise God from whom all blessings flow for:

• my unexpected 5 hour nap today. I don't think I could have needed it any more than I did- yikes! Today was an 8-5 day that I wasn't quite anticipating. 
• my teachers putting up both of my tests this week as ONLINE OPEN-BOOK ASSESSMENTS!
• the 2 classes with tests tomorrow are cancelled- a.k.a. I only have class from 9:30-12:20 a.k.a. I can finish a piece I've been working on a.k.a. sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt in a while.
• oh and speaking of tests- I've taken 2 so far this year and I'm normally not a grade-sharer but no one really reads this so I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm really proud of myself because I (somehow) got a 105 on my SoWk test and a 92 on another test. I feel really good about that!
• retreat this weekend, holla. Same retreat where I met my bestfriendboyfriend 2 years and 4 days ago so it's kind of a big part of my life and stuff. A few fun retreat pics posted below for no reason.
• I've already finished my 50 hours for my TRTL scholarship somehow and it's just the beginning of October. LOLing about that.
• Bobcats for Life event is coming together SO BEAUTIFULLY. I was expecting it to be a lot more stressful right now but it's great. We have a state rep, Pro-Life (and Catholic) OBGYN, coalition for life employee, PRC worker, post-abortive woman, annnnd Texas Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty coming to speak. I'm stoked about all of it but lately I'm most stoked for TCADP because I am way undereducated about that issue and I'm getting more passionate about it lately, especially after reading this story about the friendship between a nun & death row inmate. Speaking of nuns: see fun & unnecessary retreat pics below.
• Also, no big deal, but Bobcats for Life made $250 on Sunday from the bracelets & headbands we made! So stoked. And we still have a lot of bracelets left and a ton of materials. So cheap & adorbs.

I'm so excited to go to bed and wake up super energized from all my napping and semi-early bedtime! Annnnnd I just reread that last sentence and realized that I am 70 years old. Awesome!

Hello, I'm Sister Mary-Christmas! 

performing "Hail Holy Queen" from Sister Act on our Awakening retreat- lolz

today was a lullaby

Left work after 45 minutes today after unbearable waves of nausea. It was terrible. It's happened "every so often" for the past 5 months now. That description sounds so pregnant ha ha ha. I went home, curled up in fetal position in my pajamjams and slept until my internship at the PRC started. Today was my first real day and I helped with an abstinence program. Definitely not what I expected - but in a good way! I really enjoyed it. It made me think about doing school social work/counselor type thing... who knows.

Then I started missing my NRL Academy girls and so I sent them a song and then I had my guitar out already and this song always reminds me of new beginnings and I'm kind of wanting to just go to sleep and wake up refreshed and renewed and energized and feeling healthy and organized and priorities in order. That's not exactly the type of new beginning the song refers to, but it still makes me feel warm inside.